


Flowers of the Forgotten

by RippleInthePond



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Memories, Other, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7687234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RippleInthePond/pseuds/RippleInthePond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A man who has loved, lost, and forgotten. A blue box who decided that it was time for him to remember. This story is a follow-up to my one-shot The Black Rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flowers of the Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Doctor Who

Flowers of the Forgotten  
Written by RippleInThePond

OoOoO

The Doctor sat in the jumpseat, his top hat on the floor, scarf hanging over a railing and his jacket flung somewhere in the room. His heart, shattered to pieces all over again. River had just left for the library, and to his unpleasant surprise, it was close to his loss of Amy and Rory.

His head hung down as tears gathered in his eyes. His arms shook with grief and despair. He was lost in his pain, his mind replaying the moments like a broken record. Then, he heard a voice in his head.

 _My thief?_ He shook his head. _Leave me alone_. He felt the TARDIS surround his thoughts, and mentally pulling him out of the chair. His limp body followed obediently. _Come, my thief. There is something I feel you need to see once more._

She led him down the twists and turns of the hallways, leading him to a pure white door with a golden rose next a door with a "Rose" inscribed in Gallifreyan. The white door had a lock, one that could be only opened by a sonic screwdriver. Unsure of what was behind the door, he unlocked it and walked inside. Memories of a time long past hit him like a wave as he saw what was inside.

A room full of flowers immortal. He walked towards the nearest flower, a single celandine in a glass vase. He touched the flower as he remembered what it meant.

OoOoO

_The Doctor and Rose walked back to the TARDIS and as they went inside he handed her a flower immortal. She dug into her pockets and pulled out the dictionary._

_"What flower is it?" He smiled down at her before placing it in her hair. "Celandine." She scanned the book and when she found it, her eyes lit up. "There will be many joys to come, my Doctor." She took the flower out of her and went to the glass room to find a vase to place it in. She then put it in her room and ran back to the console room._

_"Let's go find some adventure!"_

OoOoO

The new new new Doctor smiled as he remembered that moment and he looked about the room, his eye landing on another plant. It was a small clove plant in a glass planter. His smile softened as he remembered what clove meant.

OoOoO

_The Doctor and Rose were relaxing in the TARDIS library, the fire crackling nearby. She sat on the couch in front of him reading as he fiddled with bits and bobs. Unbeknownst to her, he got up and returned with an immortal plant._

_He placed it in front of her and when she looked up, she saw it. Excitedly, she looked at the label saying "Clove" and scanned for it in the book. When she found it, she smiled softly and her eyes began to water._

_She put down the book and the plant and walked over to him. Surprising him, she removed the objects from his hands and sat in his lap before cupping his face between her hands._

_"I have known, Doctor. For you, the words will never really need to be said and I know you are afraid to. You are afraid to admit it, and that's okay, because I love you too."_

_She leaned over and kissed him softly as a single tear ran down his cheek._

OoOoO

The Doctor raised a hand to his cheek to see that he had tears running down his face. He viciously wiped them away before turning and seeing another vase with bouquet of two types of flowers. His hearts broke slightly as he recalled what had happened when he gave them to her.

OoOoO

_Rose sat in her room, sobbing into her pillow. They had just returned from a city that revealed their worst insecurities, and all Rose saw was that she wasn't enough. That she wasn't beautiful enough. That she was nothing. Her insecurities from Jimmy rushed back, digging an empty hole where her heart was as she cried._

_She felt the bed dip as the Doctor sat behind her and he laid a hand on her back. He ran it to the other side of her and rolled her over, laying her head in his lap. He ran his fingers through her hair in attempt to calm her down. She began to babble about what the city had said to her, and his hearts shattered with the pain that he hadn't been there, that they'd been separated and he wasn't there to protect her from herself. They fell asleep on the bed, him leaning against the headboard propped up with a pillow, her head in his lap._

_The next day, he gave her a bouquet of alyssum and daphne when she woke up. Laying the bouquet in her lap, she grabbed the book from the nightstand and looked up the meanings. She began to cry again when she found them and she threw her arms around his shoulders as she hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she cried tears of joy. She nuzzled his shoulder and then put her mouth at his ear._

_"Thank you."_

OoOoO

The Doctor turned from the flower and moved about the room. He found a small bouquet of viscaria and white carnations, his face lighting up with the joyful memory.

OoOoO

_Rose sat in the sidelines of a ballroom in a distant planet, well-known for the quality of its balls. The Doctor had decided to bring her to a masquerade, but he disappeared almost the second they walked through the doors. Here she was, sitting on the sidelines in a gorgeous blue ballgown. It had a dark blue tube top with silver sequins lining the top as well as the waist. The skirt was a bustle skirt that completely reached the floor. Her mask was royal blue, acrylic paint creating gorgeous designs over the mask. Silver filigree created ornate images._

_She carried a bigger-on-the-inside silver clutch with a large blue gem for the latch. The flower dictionary, a book, some snacks, pillow and and thick blanket were inside._

_In other words, she was completely stunning and she was drawing a lot of attention. Men turned their heads to look at her as they walked by. Women glared at her in jealousy and envy. Many men had already asked her to dance, but she had politely refused._

_Suddenly a bouquet of flowers were in front of. She glared at the man who put them in front of her, immediately recognizing him to be the Doctor, even with his mask._

_"Where have you been?!" He smirked and waved the flowers a little bit. "Getting these. Come on, aren't you even a little bit curious to what they mean?" She smiled and pulled out the book. "What are they?" He sat down next to her on the bench. "Viscaria and white carnations." She found the meanings and laughed._

_"I thought the world ends when the Doctor dances?" He looked affronted. "Oi! We danced right after that little event if I remember correctly!" She tipped her head back and laughed harder. "Yes, we did, and you kept on getting my arm stuck behind my back!" They laughed together for a while before the Doctor stood up, extending a hand to her._

_She placed her left in his right, using her right hand to slip her clutch into his pocket. He led her onto the dance floor, and this time, he danced perfectly, twirling her in his arms._

_They danced the night away, the greatest attraction on the floor._

OoOoO

He smiled, running a finger along the petals as he recalled twirling her in his arms. It had been one of the happiest nights of his life. It was before she had gotten the least bit sick and they were enjoying themselves. He ran his finger along one of the petals once more before turning away.

He turned away and saw another flower. A flower that he had given her after the greatest mistake of his life. The one that made them lose each other in more ways than one.

France.

The flower was a purple hyacinth in a vase made of glass rue, pieces together like a puzzle. He slowly walked over to it as he remembered the fight.

OoOoO

_They walked onto the TARDIS, and Rose hadn't said a word. He reached over to touch her shoulder and her head snapped towards him, eyes lit with a righteous fury. "Don't touch me." Her voice was cold and empty as she regarded him with the one emotion that he wished to never see in her eyes._

_Hate._

_She went to walked up the ramp when he called out to her. She turned to him slowly. "What?" Her voice had become scathing and not just a little condescending. "You want me to stay? You want to talk this out? Fine." She stalked up to him and jabbed a finger into his chest._

_"You left! You abandoned me and Mickey here to go chasing after some French courtesan. You promised me that you would always come for me if you hearts were beating! You promised me that I wasn't like the rest! You lied! You left me here!!! It wasn't 5½ hours! It was 5½ DAYS!!!" She took her finger down as her eyes began to water._

_"I didn't tell you because I thought it would be easier, because it would hurt you less." She turned and walked away and stopped right before leaving the room. "You betrayed me, Doctor. Please, leave me alone." She left the room, tears streaming down her face._

_The Doctor felt his hearts stop when she left the room. He had done what he feared most. He had pushed her away, and now, he might lose her forever. He went to his workshop and created a gift to say how sorry he was. After two days, he placed the finished products into his pocket. The Doctor searched the galaxy for the planet he was looking for and then landed, Rose and Mickey coming to the control room._

_Mickey tilted his head to the side."We going somewhere?" The Doctor looked at Rose, his face full of guilt, hers of fear. She thought he was sending her home. "Mickey, can you stay on the TARDIS please?" Mickey nodded. "Sure thing Doc." He turned around and walked back down the corridors._

_He walked over to the doors, her following after him apprehensively. He opened them and stepped outside into a field of flowers that held only two types._

_He turned towards her, his eyes locked on hers as he spoke. "This is the largest field of purple hyacinths and rue in the entire galaxy. The planet only lived for about one month before collapsing in on itself, but this is it in all its glory." He gestured to her pocket. "Care to look, Rose?" She slowly pulled out the book, her eyes watering as she looked at the fields. She looked down, flipping to purple hyacinths. "Purple hyacinths mean 'please forgive me'," she looked at the Doctor, seeing the tear streak down his face and she turned to rue. "And rue means regret." She tucked the book back into her pocket and walked up to him._

_She placed a hand on his cheek. "Say it, Doctor." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, burying his head in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry, Rose! I'm so so sorry. Please." His voice cracked as tears ran down his face. "Please forgive me." She pulled away and wiped away his tears with her thumbs as she held his face. "I forgive you, Doctor."_

_He laid his hands on top of hers. "I can't promise I won't do it again. I am fool, and it will happen again." She smiled softly and pulled him down, giving him a small kiss, surprising him. "You are a fool, yes. But, you are a fool who has felt heartbreak and loss. You are afraid to love again because you are afraid of the pain that comes with it." She kissed him again and pressed her forehead to his. "I will always be with you, Doctor. Maybe not in body," she released his face and pressed each hand to his chest where his hearts were. "But I will always be right here."_

_He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hard, his fear, heartbreak, loss, and his complete and utter love for her poured into the kiss. He released the kiss first, placing his hands into his pockets and pulled out the vase with the flower, placing it in her hands before kissing her forehead and leading her back to the TARDIS._

OoOoO

He remembered the fear and the regret that had raced through his hearts when she asked him to leave her alone. This body may have never known her or felt her touch but his mind remembered her. It knew her with perfect clarity. He turned and saw a bouquet of camellia, his hearts racing as his brain brought the memory forth.

OoOoO

_The Doctor and Rose ran back to the tardis as they were chased by Grogorians, creatures who cast you into a dream world. They ran inside, the Doctor putting them into the time vortex before running to his room, Rose quick on his heels. "I got hit, we don't have long." The Doctor quickly placed a chapparal from his pocket in Rose's hand, giving her the words before he collapsed onto his bed, cast into the dream world._

_Rose put him under the comforter, making him comfortable before placing the flower in her lap to check the meaning. Her heart stopped as she read it._

_" Stimulates your dreams to reveal information about past life issues still affecting you."_

_She ran to library, finding books on the Grogorian dream world. She researched only to find that the Grogorian dream world shows you what you hide about yourself, using the natural chaparral oils . To enter into anothers dream, you merely need to place your hand where the oils came in contact. She returned to the Doctor's room to find him heating up. She clumsily carried him to the conjoined bathroom. She blushed as she stripped him down to boxers and a tee before placing him in the tub, gently lowering his head._

_She filled the tub with water that was lukewarm, a little on the cold side. As she looked him over, she found that a part of his hand was glowing blue. She touched it and felt herself slowly fall over, leaning on his damp chest as she was whisked away._

_She saw the Doctor then, but he was older and different. He standing in a battle, shooting the words "No More" into the wall. She saw him disappear in the tardis. She saw the moment, and she saw what he had done._

_She opened her eyes, her neck aching from the awkward position. She looked up and saw the Doctor looking at her, completely afraid. He grabbed her arms tightly, but not enough to hurt or bruise. "What did you see? Rose, what did you see?!" She carefully removed his hands from her arms before wrapping her arms around his cold chest._

_" I saw man who was not a monster. I saw a man who was not a murderer. I saw a man, torn to shreds by a decision that shouldn't have been his to make. I saw a man, whose guilt tore into his hearts as he made a choice that left him completely alone." She leaned back and kissed him, tears streaming down his face. "I saw a man whose demons haunt him. I saw the man I love, and the man whom I forgive on behalf of the people who can no longer do so." She smiled a sad smile. "I saw a man who was a hero in when faced with an impossible situation. I saw the Doctor."_

_He cried, his barriers having been broken down from the memories that he had pushed into the recesses of his mind. They got out the bathroom and she dried him off and they went to bed and she held him, fighting his demons as he cried._

OoOoo

The Doctor turned away from the camellias, his chest constricted as he recalled that night with perfect clarity. He turned away as he walked about the room, each flower holding a meaning. In the back of the room, he found a card preserved in a glass case.

_Hello Doctor. If you are reading this, then I am gone._   
_I just want to ask you to do something for me._   
_Have a fantastic life Doctor, and never ever forget._

_Why did you bring me here?_ He felt her sigh in his mind. _Because you forget the good when you experience the bad. You should learn to take your own advice. Also, you broke your promise to our Wolf._

It hit him like a pile of bricks. He had forgotten. He had forgotten about this room, and he had forgotten his promise. He took of his bowtie and placed it on the glass case.

He walked out of the room and stood at the door. He took a deep breath and removed the lock he had placed on the door and on his memories.

_I am sorry, Rose. Never again._

He walked back to the console room, but not before looking towards the ceiling.

_Thank you._

**Author's Note:**

> Celandine- Joys to come  
> Clove- I have loved you and you have not known it  
> Alyssum- Worth beyond beauty  
> Daphne- I would not have you otherwise  
> Viscaria- Will you dance with me?  
> White Carnations-  
> Purple Hyacinth- Please forgive me  
> Rue- Regret  
> Chaparral- Stimulates your dreams to reveal information about past life issues still affecting you.


End file.
